Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
