i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
