shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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