I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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