my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
