VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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