she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
