I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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