I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize