her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
