No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
