Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
