Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize