I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
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