The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
