I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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