I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Buhtt sex?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize