I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
