we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
