You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
