Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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