sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
