Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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