Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
