everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
