physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
