Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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