You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
