the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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