can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
