I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
