Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
