I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
foreskin is a definite game changer
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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