Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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