After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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