Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
