Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
