therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
