i don't like sucking hair
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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