Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
