This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
