His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
