I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
