I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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