wake up i wanna do it froggy style
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
