i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
