guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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