Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
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