No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
