thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
