OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Life is so much better after having sex.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
