She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
