Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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