Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
