I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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