How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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