I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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