he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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