I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
