Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
