OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm at about main and main street
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
